Tell me it's not. I was watching Toddlers and Tiaras last night, and I had a very strong urge to one day enroll one of my daughters in a baby beauty pageant, so that during the Swimsuit round I could teach her to whip off her tiny sarong and wave it around like a burlesque dancer. I would be the really crude pageant mom who teaches her child age-inappropriate dance routines while chain-smoking and having an annoying horse-laugh.

"Idk about the rest of NE Ohio, but Akron is basically a giant fucking pothole at this point." - Pulse from this morning.

I wasn't talking about Akron as a whole being shitty. I was talking about the ROADS. It's mid-winter, and the plows are beating the roads all to hell. See, in the summer, instead of fixing the roads, they just put thousands of useless asphalt patches along the sides of the roads. Then, when the plows run in the winter, they rip out those patches and then some, leaving behind these giant gaping holes on both sides of the roadway.

Because it's impossible to avoid these potholes unless you have a free path to drive directly in the middle of the street, this also means salt. Or, whatever that calcium chloride shit is that everyone is using now. So, I hit all these potholes, which are filled up with salty water. Consequently, the van is a salt-caked beast. It's too cold to wash it, so I'm stuck Windexing my windshield, windows, and mirrors, just so I can see out of them.

Around here, the streets are white because of all the salt/calcium stuff, and it's getting kind of gross. I can't wait until spring.

My babies are only six days old and they are already gaining a reputation it took me YEARS to build. According to the nurse I talked to during my visit today, they are two very grumpy young ladies. If they're not sleeping, they're frowning. She says they don't cry a whole lot, but they are markedly annoyed at being born. Hell, there are rules in the outside world, can you believe that? They have to wake up, eat, breathe, poop, have their diapers changed... It's hard work being out here. They're not at all impressed.

Both girls are putting on their weight and they eat fine. They just need to get their body temperature control issues in order, and then they can come home. I'm going stir-crazy here, so I hope that happens soon.

So... there's a schedule for when I can see my babies. It's somewhat annoying, because I want to see them all the time. Also, if the NICU nurse who brings them to my room is telling the truth, they are sleeping through most of the day.

When they're not in my room, I just kind of sit here all day and wonder what's going on in the rest of my world. Since I can't be with the babies, I wish I was at work. I have my reasons.

Instead, I'm doing homework. It's the most frustrating thing in the world, trying to do PRECALC when I have DAUGHTERS nearby. I would much rather be over-stimulating them than trying to figure out exponential laws.